At some point not too long ago, I thought it was absolutely too scary for me to be alone. I didn’t like going anywhere by myself and I was always nervous when my husband left the house. I think this was because I just didn’t trust myself. I had this idea that I couldn’t take care of myself so I just didn’t trust myself alone. Now that I’ve been on this path of self-exploration and discovery, I actually enjoy my time alone. When I’m alone I come up with ways to solve my problems and I’m able to clear a lot of the mental junk that gets caught in my head. I don’t get add much of it with a full time job and a one year old kid, but I squeeze in moments when I can.
I am beginning to realize that in order to create a daily writing habit I will need to write after a certain trigger instead of at a certain time of day. This will help when my schedule or routine changes so that I won’t slack off on my habit. For writing, I think I will set it after I take my daily medicine since I already have an alarm set for that.
So everything that I have been reading about changing yourself suggests to start small and work on changing one thing at a time. I’m sure that’s sound advice but I find myself working on multiple things at once. I may look back and kick myself later but for now I’m content with simultaneously getting out of debt, building a lifestyle business, meditating more, eating more healthy foods, writing every day and reducing the amount of useless stuff that I buy. I guess what should be at the top of my list is learning to be more patient, but I’ll just keep up what I’m doing for now.
Just about every blog that I have read that helps with any form of self-improvement says to start small with anything you want to change. For me, this has been developing a meditation habit. Every morning after I brush my teeth I set the timer on my phone for two minutes of meditation. I do my best to focus on my breathing but my mind wanders a lot. I’m going to keep at it until it becomes second nature but right now my brain is a bag of crazy. I do enjoy the momentary peace on the days when my mind calms down though.
I have begun to realize that helping others really can help you feel better. Today I did some really small things – I let two people in during rush hour traffic. Now I know it doesn’t seem like much but this helped me feel a small piece of happiness to help someone get to their destination. It occurred to me that where I wanted to go was not more important than anyone else’s destination so it was easier to just be kind.
I almost forgot my post for today! I have been realizing that people need more loving-kindness than criticism. When I see something that I don’t like in someone else I’ve gotten into the habit of looking at myself and just seeing what I really don’t like. Then that helps me to remember to be kind to others because whatever I see that I think is wrong with that other person is really just a reflection of how I’m feeling about myself.
I know that I have started this blog over a couple of times already but now I’m ready to make a firm commitment. I WILL write at least something every single day. There is a lot bouncing around in my big head all of the time and I’m ready to get it out. The reality for me is that no matter what lengths I go to avoid people, no matter how quiet I am and no matter how much I keep to myself, I am not invisible. I used to want to be but now I’m ready to live out loud. Ready or not world here I come!!!